May19

Surrender

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Surrender

I am finding myself in a very interesting season. Just recently, I can honestly say, I was in the dark night of my soul, a huge pit, the valley of the shadow of death. I have been angry with the Lord before over certain things, but this time was different. I was scared that I might walk away from Him altogether. The reality of walking away and no longer trusting Him, but my weak self, I think, was much scarier than the dark pit that I was currently sitting in when I had that thought. We have all been there. We have all experienced that pit in some shape, form, and fashion in our human lives. There are those of us who are simply waiting for the dreams and promises of God to come to pass. There are those who are waiting for the promotion that was promised to them. There are those who have experienced the loss of a child or a loved one and have no words to explain why. Whatever it is, we have all been in that pit in one way or another and the thought crossed our mind, “Will I continue to love and trust Him throughout the rest of this pilgrimage?”

I found in this dark place that I was running full speed in the opposite direction of the One calling and pursuing me. “No, I can’t trust You. You hurt my heart. You let me down. Stay away!” Although I was running, and running hard, it was like i was running on a treadmill not getting any further from Him. I couldn’t get away no matter how hard I tried. His voice constantly calling in the distance, “Come to Me, I will give you rest. Come to Me, I will give you rest!” But my heart so hurt, so broken, I couldn’t trust Him and I found more comfort in running, even if I wasn’t really getting anywhere. Now I know that I am not the only person who can attest to this, but, why is it that when we want to hear from the Lord, its as if He really doesn’t exist, and we do everything “religiously” to try and make a way to hear him. We fast. We pray. We read our bible. We do 15 cartwheels. We jump up and down 38 times and then spin to the left and then spin to the right. We do the hokey pokey trying to make something happen. But when you DON’T want to hear from Him *BAM* He’s in your face constantly. Talk about the inside, outside, upside down Kingdom. Sheesh! I can’t explain it. This was right where I was sitting in that pit. I didn’t want to hear from Him, yet He was speaking things, that at the time I didn’t realize, would change the course of my life forever.

I won’t go into listing all the “horrible” things that I was going through as they aren’t really that important. However, I will touch on one, as without it, you won’t understand the life changing-ness (haha) of it. I am currently facing the situation of having to move. As many of you know I have been a full-time missionary and on staff, voluntarily, at the House of Prayer since Oct. 2007. I had SHORT jobs here and there, but for the most part have been living a life of adventure that I know Bill Gates and Donald Trump would envy haha. Over the last 4 years of this adventure I have given up more and more for the sake of the call on my life. Has it been easy? Absolutely not, but to live with the hunger of denying destiny is more painful than losing the materialistic things and wants of the human flesh. It has been very humbling. I went from working 3 jobs and having everything in the world I could imagine wanting, yet I was so empty and miserable that none of it mattered. I had my own apartment, nice car, I was “living the american dream,” yet I was so EMPTY that I was dying daily. I had this amazing life changing encounter with the Lord in Feb. 2007 and by Oct. 2007 I gave up everything. I moved in with the directors of my House of Prayer who have become amazing spiritual parents and leaders in my life. Anyone who has lived on their own though knows how hard it is to live with people again haha. Humbling! My whole world, as I knew it, had changed. I found myself willing to do anything for this One who had touched my heart in a way no one else ever had, or ever will. I know that the Lord has called me as a Levite, a David, one who sits in the House of the Lord and ministers to Him. I have no doubt that this has been His workings in me since the beginning of time. Last year at this very time, I knew that the Lord was preparing me to move. I had been living with my spiritual family for 3 years. In fear, I couldn’t see where the Lord was leading me or how things were going to happen so I resulted in trusting myself to pave the way. I jumped and got a job that was HORRIBLE. I lasted there for 2 months before walking out. The next thing I knew the Lord provided a place for me to live, yet again. I moved into a 2 bedroom apartment with a wonderful and dear lady from our House of Prayer. Through certain situations she is having to move now to be with family in FL, and here I am again, back in this same place. I am in this pit, angry as can be, not wanting to talk to, or think about the Lord. I know you are saying, “Wow, big deal. This isn’t a hard trial,” but again I tell you there were many many things leading up to this that we can call this the icing on the cake for that moment. I am doing everything to distance myself from the Lord. One night one of my friends says, “You should just watch a good movie. Clear you head.” So I pick this movie and I watch it all the way through and I’m like, “Eh, that was pretty good.” I am getting ready for bed and thinking out my current situation and how I’m going to work things out and the Lord speaks to me and says, “At any time you can go back to being who you were, but you will still END UP being exactly who I made you to be!” I spit my toothpaste into the sink and I stare at myself in the mirror pondering these words. “At any time you can go back to being who you were, but you will still END UP being exactly who I made you to be!” The Lord then says to me, ” You are where you are because you chose to be here VOLUNTARILY! I didn’t make you quit your job, lay down all those other things. YOU CHOSE TO DO THAT. And Lilly, it has NOT gone unseen from my eyes. I saw that you are willing to lay down anything for the sake of love, for the sake of being with me.” At that moment it was as if my heart was nailed with an arrow. He extends this offer to all of us on different scales. WHAT WILL YOU GIVE UP FOR LOVE? We see all these movies and read all these books where we watch these men jump through hoops and barrels for the woman they love. Are we doing the same for the sake of an eternal, everlasting love, that waters can not quench? I realized at that moment that the Lord was pleased with me. I also came to the reality that He was, yet again, validating my life and my calling.

I continued to ask myself over and over, “God, why am I in the exact same place as I was this time last year? Is there something you want to teach me? If so, please teach me because i don’t want to face this mountain again.” The Lord has a way of speaking for sure. A very very dear brother in the Lord to me called me several weeks later and began to give me a prophetic word that the Lord had given him for me 5 wks earlier. I am so thankful that this dear brother has always been one who knows how to wait for the timing of the Lord. He called me right on time. He began to speak to me about several things, but one thing he said to me was that the Lord had given him Genesis 12-13. He then starts to paraphrase the story for me. Abraham is between the cities Bethel and Ai and builds an altar unto the Lord after having received the promise, “I will make you into a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous and you will be a blessing to others. I will bless those who bless you and curse those who treat you with contempt. All the families on earth will be blessed through you (Gen 12:2-3).” Right after this the fear of famine strikes the land and the first thing Abraham does is, “freak out” shall we say, and runs back to Egypt. He gets there, and again because of fear, tells Pharaoh that Sarah is his sister and so Pharaoh takes Sarah “into” the palace. Abraham prospers greatly from this as Pharaoh blessed him because of Sarah, but the Lord steps in and sends terrible plagues upon Pharaoh’s house until the truth comes forth and Abraham and Sarah are asked to leave Egypt. The next thing Abraham knows, BOOM, he is right back at the same altar as he was before he ended up in Egypt.

Okay PAUSE! So, in case you aren’t connecting the dots, I will help you out. Here I am in the exact same position as I was last year. Can I look back on my situation from last year and see where the “fear of famine” struck the land and I made my own provision? ABSOLUTELY! Okay, so, like Abraham, yes the Lord blessed me in the last season of my life even though I ran in fear. He taught me great and wondrous mysteries and took me wonderful places, but I have been “driven out of Egypt,” this time, and I am back at the altar. Now what do I do? I know one thing, I WILL NOT try to work this out myself, AGAIN! So, what does Abraham do? He finds himself back at this altar and it says, “HE WORSHIPED THE LORD (Gen. 13:4).” So if freaking out and providing for myself is not the option then what other option do I have? TRUST GOD! WORSHIP HIM! Sounds easy enough right? Surprisingly, I am finding a lot of peace in my life right now. The Lord spoke to me about a week ago as I was thinking about the whole situation and trying not to psych myself out as to where I would live, where I would go, what I would do, and feeling very passive in the whole ordeal, He said, “Do not confuse complacency and passivity with surrender.” My first reaction was, “HUH?” And then He said, ” Complacency and passivity means you don’t care, and that’s not the case. Surrender, however, means that you do care, yet you realize that it is outside of you ability to fix.HELLO! I AM GOD! Not you!”

Even more comforting, as the time progresses, I have to seek His peace a little more actively. I am spending time with the Lord, as it is the middle of the month and I am leaving Thurs. to go to the beach with my mom, so I have to be packed before I go, and still have no idea where “home” will be when I get back. The Lord speaks two very encouraging words to me. The first, He takes me back to a promise He gave me in Israel that I would be like the church of Philadelphia, “All who are victorious will become pillars in the house of God, and they will never have to leave it (Rev 3:12).” For me, again, the Lord was confirming my mandate and calling to be in the House of Prayer here in the city of Cartersville. The second word He spoke to me, just shows me that He has a sense of humor and loves when we are reminded that He is God and fully in control. I was reading about the life of Abraham in Hebrews and the Lord highlighted this verse, ” Abraham went WITHOUT KNOWING where he was going (Hebrews 11:8).” Wow! Now that is comforting let me tell you.HAHA!

I say all this to say, no matter how dark of a place you may feel that you are in, you are only a whisper away from victory! Stop looking at your circumstances and allowing them to dictate the course of your life, your emotions, your feelings. “Greater is He who is in you, than he who is in the world.” It’s really true! The Lord takes us through these testings and trials to establish our character. One of the largest issues in the Body of Christ is that we really don’t know who we are and what kind of authority that He has granted to us, therefore, we think it is okay to be Satan’s punching bag, and IT’S NOT! He wants us to walk into our identity. He wants us to know who we are THROUGH CHRIST! “Christ in me the hope of glory!” He wants us to wake up and smell the coffee and realize that the destiny that He has planned for our lives is really outside of our realm to imagine, therefore, how much more is it outside of our human realm to imagine how to provide for it or make it happen. David and Isaiah both confirm this. ” Your plans for us are too numerous to list (Ps 40:5).” “My ways are far beyond anything you could imagine (Isaiah 55:8).” The reality is, we have this HUGE, GRANDIOSE destiny awaiting us, but right now, we don’t have the character to sustain it. Paul said, “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us to develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation (Rom. 5:3-4).” He really is working in us and eternal weight of glory!

Mar17

God Ordains Your Steps!

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God Ordains Your Steps!

The walk of one’s life, I believe, has to be one of the most amazing acts that God the Father could watch walked out. Day after day He watches us make decision after decision. The life of humanity is nothing but thousands and thousands of opportunities daily making decisions. I wake up…but I have to decide, will I hit the snooze or sleep for 5 more minutes? What will I eat for breakfast? Oatmeal or cereal? I-75 is backed up with traffic because of a wreck…do I choose to practice patience or find an alternate route? I get to the House of Prayer and my phone is going off like crazy…do I choose to answer or realize the value of my time spent with my Creator? Someone hurts me with their words…do I tell them or just hide the hurt inside? Decision after decision after decision. I am not sure that someone, even one as intelligent as Einstein, could configure the amount of time one human being spends in a lifetime making decisions. I will tell you, however, that ultimately, “Man makes plans, but God ordains His steps (Pr. 16:9).” Man has freewill, but I think, even beyond that, we really don’t have as much control over our lives as we think we do. Let me rephrase that last statement. Man has freewill, but I KNOW, even beyond that, we really don’t have as much control over our lives as we think we do.  This very blog for instance, I was initially writing about something else and at the moment I have no real idea where it is headed, but I know that I am going to submit myself to the leadership of the Holy Spirit.

Man makes plans, but God ordains his steps. How many people schedule out their day and actually complete every single thing on the list? If you are raising your hand and saying, “me” right now I have to ponder if you are telling the truth haha. All joking aside, it rarely ever happens. I am finding that my steps really are ordered of the Lord.  Even Jesus said, “I can do nothing on my own (John 5:19 , 30).” I remember back in the Summer of last year I was praying and planning to go to Ireland. I felt for sure that I was very close to getting on a plane and being there. Within a matter of what seemed like a moment I was actually on a plane headed to Israel. To be honest I had no real desire to go to Israel other than to see what I had read and believed about my whole life. I remember telling the Lord, “I don’t want to go to Israel.” He said back to me, “Why don’t you want to go?” I said, “I just don’t want to go.” He said, “Wrong! Let’s deal with the truth of why you don’t want to go. You don’t want to go because you don’t value yourself and you don’t think that you are worthy enough to be used by the Lord in His very land.” OUCH! My Father loves in gentleness and compassion, but sometimes He has to speak direct to my heart. He is looking for a Bride who is confident in her love and affection for Him as well as her destiny. Its because of His great mercy that He reveals these hidden weeds in the garden of our hearts. The next thing I knew I was on a plane headed to the Holy Land and about to experience what will forever be remembered as one of the most amazing moments of my life.

Over a year ago I also was faced with a major decision. Many people would choose not to talk publicly about these kinds of things, but I believe that my testimony has power and I love to speak of the goodness of the Lord. At the time I was 26 years old. I had never really dated or had a real boyfriend. I have heard every line in the book about singleness and could possibly write a book and add to the thousands that are already on the shelf about the topic. One thing that I have found to be a great challenge is remaining celibate in the midst of learning about a loving and intimate God. Song of Solomon says, “Do not arouse of awaken love until is so desires.” I would say that women struggle harder than men with this, but I don’t think that’s true. I think it is equally true. In the depth of man in a longing to be loved and belong. Allen Hood talks about the days that Adam spent in the garden naming the animals and how longing existed before the fall. He says to imagine what it must have felt like for Adam to go through naming all of these animals and over and over again being faced with the reality that there were two of every one except himself. LONGING! Well, now you know what my life has felt like for the last couple years. I know many women go through similar experiences. I found that the more and more time that went by, the more I realized, I stayed single while it seemed everyone else was marrying. I felt as though my life was on hold while everyone else moved on. I felt stuck. In the depth of my heart there was this little girl screaming at the top of her lungs longing to be loved and noticed. I soon after found myself at a crossroad in life. I could choose to go to the path to the right or the path to the left. I prayed and sought the Lord. I had words that could go one way or another, and soon I just found myself making a decision on my own. 7 months later I found myself in the darkest hole and most heartache I had ever experienced in a lifetime. Looking back on it all I know that I am only where I am because while I make plans God ordains my steps. Now to expound on my earlier statement. We do not have as much freewill as we would like to think. I made decisions that pleased my flesh and at the time what I thought my spirit, but God being all knowing, all seeing saw through all the shaded areas. He intervened! I couldn’t understand it fully at the time, but now looking back I can see His beautiful hand of mercy. It was holding my heart oh so gently. I felt for a while like I would die, but He also brought me to the reality that He makes all things work together for my good. Most people would say, “If I had it all to do over I would change the way that I did things.” Honestly, I don’t know that I can say that. While it may not have been His perfect will, He did still allow it, and, MAN, the things that He taught me along that journey. In John 17 Jesus said, “I have revealed You to them, and I will continue to do so.” I learned things about my Father, my Creator, my Lover, that I might not have learned any other way. I will say I learned, if I don’t have clarity on a matter, I WILL NOT MOVE NEXT TIME, without KNOWING THAT I KNOW!

If you feel like you have gone through a rough season and maybe made some decisions that weren’t quite right, I just encourage you, get up, dust yourself off, and keep running the race. Keep your eyes fixed on the prize. Jesus did not let you down! Jesus did not fail you! Jesus has not forgotten you. And if you think that there is no one in the world who feels the way that you do, I can assure you, you are wrong. Jesus was the only man who faced not only rejection by man, but rejection by God. One minute He cries out, “My God, my God , why have you abandoned me (Matt. 27:46)?” And the next He says, “Father, I entrust my spirit into your hands (Luke 23:46)!” Notice the difference in how He addresses God the Father. The first time He calls Him God highlighting His humanity. In the second statement He addresses Him as Father highlighting His Son ship. Jesus was the only man rejected by God. He was rejected so that you might be accepted! I am going to say that again, not because you need to hear it, but I do. HE WAS REJECTED SO THAT YOU MIGHT BE ACCEPTED! You are a son! You are a daughter! Hold your head high and remember that, “Christ in you is your HOPE FOR GLORY (Col. 1:27 paraphrase)!”

Mar13

I Am Made Complete…

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I Am Made Complete…

I was driving home last night from hanging out with some dear friends of mine and the road that I was driving down carries some memories of mine that are very hard for me to deal with. These memories tend to haunt me and just bring my heart into bondage with heartache. I am feeling this aching rising up in my heart as the memories begin to play over and over in my head. Finally, I said, “God, I can’t keep doing this! These memories haunt me!” The Lord spoke to me almost immediately and said, “Look for Jesus.” I have heard this line several times in inner healing sessions and I know that from past experiences it does tend to work. The next thing I knew the Lord began to talk me memory to memory and where there was hurt from a carnal man, He removed the image of that person and placed Himself there with me. He even rewrote completely some of the memories. There was one specifically where I was walking in the park with someone I had given my heart to and then I saw Jesus instead. He took my hand and said, “You captivate me with your beauty. Do you know that?” I was completely undone at that point. Tears poured from my eyes.

So many of us are walking around trying to bear up in our own strength these hurts and pains in our hearts. The Lord took me back to Isaiah 53 last week and said, “Go back to the cross because you have forgotten what He did for you there.” I am reading in Isaiah 53 and finally the elevator went to the top floor, the light came on, and I suddenly became the brightest crayon in the box. “It was my weaknesses He carried; it was my sorrows that weighed Him down…He was beaten so I could be whole.” He also said in Colossians 2:10, that, through my union with Jesus Christ I am made complete, I am whole, I am not broken. So many times we think in sorrow and pain that we are completely alone and bearing it on our own, but the reality is that He has carried that weakness already for us. He has carried that heartache already for us. He has carried that hurt and disappointment already for us. He was beaten so that I could be whole! He was beaten so that my heart could be mended together. He is dismantling the lies and replacing them with truth. The knowledge of God will prevail. “I was bound by chains, but now I’m bound by love. Oh how You set me free to love You!”

I just encourage you that whatever you are going through no matter how hard it is fight for truth to prevail. The battle is real! There is a war for your heart, and He has already prevailed. “We can REJOICE, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts (Romans 5:3-5).” You will come out leaning on your Beloved. He is coming back for a Bride walking confidently down the aisle with her head up, her eyes on Him, arrayed in the most beautiful spotless garments, and COMPLETELY in love!

Mar12

Leadership 101

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Leadership 101

“If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously.” Rom. 12:8 NLT

The Lord has really been taking me to a deeper understanding of true leadership. The Lord spoke to me last week and said, “True leadership requires weakness.”  I am finding that God loves to take the most unqualified and qualify them according to Kingdom standards. The Lord gave me this analogy. If you are in the world and you apply for a job, the business will look for the most qualified to do the job. You have Person A who was a Harvard Alumni, graduated at the top of their class, interned here and there. Then there is Person B who has a GED and at most worked at McDonald’s and Wal-Mart. Now according to the worlds standards, most would look at Person A and see them clearly qualified, but not so much with Person B. However, this is not so of the Lord’s Kingdom. The Lord, I think, looks for the most clearly unqualified. Don’t believe me? Look all through the scriptures. Abraham had fear issues. Moses had a speech problem. Gideon had an identity issue. David was of the weakest tribe and disqualified by even his own father, an adulterer and a murderer. Peter was over zealous at times and acted out of anger and even denied Christ at the most remembered moment of history. Paul was so full of a religious spirit that he actually became one of the largest persecutors of the church. Why does He do this? Why does He delight so much in weakness? Easy…The Father lives to glorify the Son. So how does He do this? “His power works best in weakness (2 Cor. 12:9).” Its in our weakness that His strength is glorified. In my weakness He can show Himself powerful and mighty and that glorifies the Son.

How do I become a good leader? This is one question that I have been asking the Lord. Understand now that you don’t have to be a worship leader or a preacher or have a title to be considered a leader either. You may be one who just shares an encouraging word with a brother or sister in a hard time, but you are exemplifying qualities of a leader, therefore, you are a leader regardless as to whether a platform exist or not. Jesus said, ” I have given you an example to follow…Do as I have done (John 13:15).” We know that here Jesus was washing the feet of the disciples. He isn’t talking about the actual act of washing their feet but serving them. The best leaders are the ones who live to serve and be of help to others. Those who live to see others far over excel their destiny for the glory of the Father. Remember when He said, “Your hands will do greater works that these?” Talk about good leadership. Jesus taught them and raised them up in a way that they would far over excel even the miracles and teachings of His own. I find this to be true in my own life. I give piano lessons from time to time and raise up musicians for the house of prayer as I feel that this is part of my mandate from heaven and more often than not the student far excels the teacher within a matter of a few months. At first, I found that I had real issues with it. I was like, really Lord. But then I came to the reality that this is true and GOOD leadership. It  is the type of leadership that exemplifies that of Jesus. Peter also said, ” Christ is your example and you must follow in His ways (1 Pet 2:21).”

A little deeper still…What is His example? What does it look like? “The Son can NOTHING by Himself…(John 5:19),” and “I (Jesus) can do NOTHING on my own…(John 5:30).” “For the Father…shows him everything…the Father will show Him how to do even greater works…(John5:20).” Everything He did flowed out of the place of being taught and lead by the Father. He only said and did as the Father said and did. This is the example that He wants us to follow. He wants us to seek the very same relationship. Hebrews 5:8 says, “Even though Jesus was God’s Son He learned obedience.” He submitted Himself fully to the Father. Just an interesting thing to look at. ..Matt 24:35-36 says, “No one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son Himself.” How is this so if Jesus is fully God, yet fully man? “He emptied Himself;…and being made in the likeness of men (Phil 2:7).” The word “emptied” means that Jesus gave up something when He became a man. I believe that Jesus decided to limit Himself in order to live as a human being. He limited the use of His knowledge and power, for example. Jesus not only looked like a man on the outside, but on the inside too. That is the meaning of “form” and “likeness”. Jesus had to be taught. If we go back to John 5:20 where it says that the Father shows Him everything, we know that the word “show” means to demonstrate, be taught, or to unveil. So the verse is really saying that the Father unveiled everything. The Father taught Him everything. The Father demonstrated everything to Him. This is the example that He wants us to follow.

I can’t even begin to claim to have scratched the surface on this thing. but I will be trying to daily or every other day blog more and more on TRUE LEADERSHIP, heavenly leadership. Be encouraged! :)

Feb28

Sacrifice

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Sacrifice

As I have been at the House of Prayer this week just spending time with the Lord and praying for my city, I have found that even in the midst of testing and trials, He is continuing to increase longing, desire and hunger in the depth on my heart for that that only He can satisfy. As many of you remember I talked about my experience where the Lord over and over brought me to this altar in a vision before I left Israel and as I came home He began to continue to speak to me about the mysteries of this place He was bringing me to. I find that daily I am denying my flesh and carnal nature to be manifested by the fullness of His Spirit. I am in no way saying that this journey has been full of joy and that I dance daily along the path which to leads to righteousness, but I do know that as I take up the way that He has set aside for me, even though sorrow and suffering may be my constant companions, I have this one hope and confidence, He who began a good work in me will be FAITHFUL to complete it.

As I was pacing in the prayer room a couple days ago I kept smelling this sweet fragrance in the room. I found that I was inhaling deeper and deeper this sweet aroma. I asked the Lord, “Lord, what is this?” The Lord spoke to me and said, ” I am filling the house with a fragrance.” As I continued to pray the Lord lead me to the story of when Mary anointed His feet in John 12. As I was reading I saw the very thing that the Lord spoke to me in verse 3, “The house was filled with fragrance.” I know we have all heard this story a thousand times, but God really wants us to see the beauty in choosing to sit at His feet and spend time with Him and that this, to Him, is our God ordained calling and its a very high calling. We know that the vial which Mary broke upon Him was her life inheritance, some even say her dowry. She saw the value that came from sitting at His feet worthy enough to sacrifice everything. She was willing to lay it all down for the sake of this one that she beheld. She was so overtaken by beauty that she was willing to give everything. She sacrificed everything to worship Him. Of course we know that as the story progresses in John 12 that Judas criticizes her for what she’s done. He says. “Doesn’t she understand the value of this vial that she’s just broken? Doesn’t she know that she could have sold that for money and fed the poor?” And we see that Jesus publicly vindicates her for what she’s done. He says that surely she has chosen the good part. We know that Judas was a thief and that he had a love for money, but even more than that he was saying they could have fed the poor. If you remember in Matt 6, Jesus warned us to be careful that we didn’t do our deeds to be noticed by man. I don’t want to be found doing the things that I do for a pat on the back from men or for my own selfish desire.

Whether you are in the marketplace working or in the house of the Lord full-time, the place of sacrifice is attainable. It’s about quality, not quantity. Sometimes 10 minutes is more of a sacrifice for some more than others. It’s like the parable of those who tended the field. There were some workers who worked from morning to evening and then there were those who came when almost all of the work was done, but they all received the same pay! Sacrifice time for Him…You won’t regret it!

Feb19

The Power of Worship and Prayer As One Unit

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The Power of Worship and Prayer As One Unit

We are only into February and already 2012 has been full of interesting and challenging moments. Coming back from Jerusalem and back to the House of Prayer made for an interesting, but awesome transition. I was worried and prayed fervently in Jerusalem that the Lord would not lift His presence from me as I returned back to the states and He has faithfully kept His promise. The Lord really just enlarged the boundaries of my heart through my experiences in Jerusalem. I find that He is just as much tangible and present here as He was in the Holy City.

I have been meditating on Acts 16 where Paul and Silas were in prison on and off all week. Being in the House of Prayer we understand the concept of worship and prayer and the power they release when married together, but this week the Lord really opened my eyes to another place in scripture that proves this. Revelation 5:8 is the common verse that we use at the House of Prayer when we talk about why we do things the way that we do with worship and prayer flowing together. “And when he took the scroll, the four living beings and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp, and they held gold bowls filled with incense, which are the prayers of the saints.” We know that the harp symbolically speaks of worship and, being the first time we see the golden bowls, the writer explains right away what they represent, the prayers of the saints or God’s people. But, again, the Lord really opened my eyes yet again to say, “hey, this harp and bowl, worship and prayer thing is REALLY my idea and the way that I do things.”

So in Acts 16 we know that Paul and Silas are thrown into prison because they deliver a fortune teller girl from a demon that was tormenting them as they were headed to the place of prayer. The girls master became enraged because his hopes of wealth were now shattered. The men grabbed Paul and Silas and brought them before the authorities and accused them of “teaching customs that are illegal for Romans to practice.” A mob quickly formed and the city officials ordered Paul and Silas to be stripped and beaten with wooden rods and then thrown into prison. So, here they are, beaten badly and sitting in prison and the scripture says that they were “praying and singing praises to God.” I don’t know about you, but that alone proves to me that Someone else was definitely the source of their strength. But the awesome thing is, that again we see worship and prayer married together and flowing as one unit and look at what power it releases when they are joined together. ” There was lightning and a massive earthquake , and the prison was shaken to its foundations. All the doors immediately flew open, and the chains of EVERY PRISONER fell off.” I did a little search on the word lightning and found that over and over when it is mentioned in scripture it is actually describing the Lord’s face or His presence.

“Out of the brightness of His presence bolts of lightning blazed forth.” 2 Samuel 22:13

“His body was like topaz, His face like lightning…” Daniel 10:6

“His appearance was like lightning, and His clothes were white as snow.” Matt 28:3

“From the throne came flashes of lightning..” Rev 4:5

All this would make sense. David said that God inhabits the praises of His people. The word inhabit actually means to live in. So, Paul and Silas are praying and singing and in the midst of this God is found living in the very words and melodies coming forth from their mouth. His presence is existent among them in the prison and what happens next? An earthquake. Isaiah 29:6 says, “I, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, will act for you with thunder and earthquake and great noise..” We see again in Isaiah 29:6 that God’s presence is existent, but also that He comes and acts on behalf of those who love Him. Acts 16:26 says, “…all the doors immediately flew open, and the chains of every prisoner fell off.” There is more to this verse than just that the prisoners were freed from their chains, but in the presence of God, “the doors immediately flew open.” Every place that is locked in our hearts becomes accessible through the place of worship and prayer being combined together. The worship and prayer bring the manifest presence of God and in His presence we find that there are no walls and no reservations that can keep Him from bringing about full freedom within us.

I have just been so encouraged by this this week. There is true power that comes about from the place of worship AND prayer! “Open my eyes to see the wonderful truths in your word (Ps 119:18).”

 

Jan31

Hunger…

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Hunger…

A few days before I left Israel I found myself on my face before the Lord. I remember feeling a pain like no other. I now know this pain to be identified as “hunger!” I was conversing with the Lord telling Him that I didn’t want to return home the same. In Jerusalem we quote the verse from Acts where Jesus commands the disciples to “tarry in the city of Jerusalem until they are endued with power from on high by the Holy Spirit” quite often, but this verse was no longer just something that I passively spoke out loud, but a cry that I petitioned heaven for. In my one on one with the Lord, I said, “God I have to have you whatever the cost. I have to have You! I have to have You!” Before I knew it the following words proceeded from my mouth, “If you don’t want me to marry or have children, okay, but I have to have You and I expect You to fill the void.” Now I am not looking to open a can of worms as to marry or not marry or even if my heart desires it. I do desire it, like most human beings naturally do, but this thing that I now know to be hunger, longs to be fulfilled far more than any earthly, carnal, temporal desire. I cried myself to sleep that night. I woke up the next morning remembering the previous days occurrences. Two things happened immediately. One, my flesh cringed, but two, my spirit was in such a place of peace and comfort as I had never known before. I felt as though I had lost 1000 lbs. I didn’t dive too much into things from there as I really busied myself getting ready to come home.

I came home on Thursday, January the 18th and I spent pretty much all of Friday, January the 19th weeping. At first I wasn’t sure what was going on with me. Do I miss Jerusalem? Am I having a hard time transitioning? What is wrong with me? Day by day the Lord began to unfold this beautiful flower before my eyes and reveal a revelation coated with so much beauty I will carry it for a lifetime. The Lord over and over brought me back to the altar. I would find myself standing in front of this wood pile on a pile of rocks and just stare. Okay God, what is this? Day after day after day it seemed He was bringing me to this same place. Then He began to speak to me of Abraham. Suddenly, the puzzle came together. I was in a vision and I saw myself laying this wedding dress and veil and all these baby things, bottle, rattle, blanket, etc, down on this altar that the Lord was continually bringing me to. The next moment a great wind of fire came and consumed these things that I had laid upon the altar and all that was left was a small heap of ashes, but they shone with this great beauty, this great light that attracted your gaze to them.  Sacrifice! It was in that moment that the head knowledge suddenly became heart knowledge. “What does it profit a man to gain the whole world, but lose his soul?” I heard this verse as though it were on repeat in my head. Again, I don’t have a problem with marriage. Marriage is a beautiful thing. God began time with a wedding and He will end time with a wedding. This is not about that at all. However, this is about how the western world IDOLIZES marriage. He said, “Thou shall not have ANY other gods before me.” I know that for years I would read this verse and have this image of something like Zeus or Mother Earth, etc in my mind when I read it, but the reality is that we have thousands of other things that we see as gods or idols and we are allowing them to dictate, not only our lives, but our destinies. Since childhood I have dreamed about the day I would get married. I think all girls plan their wedding from like the time they are 5. We have prince charming all figured out in our minds. We know what the dress will look like. We know what color the flowers will be, and we know all of our friends who will attend. The reality is, He has written eternity on our hearts and He has been planning a wedding since the beginning of time. He knows the special date. He is making preparations, and most importantly He has chosen the most beautiful bride for His Son. I want to long for the wedding! He said that there would come a day when the Bridegroom would be taken away and in that day we would mourn, in that day we would fast. I am in mourning as I look at things and say they aren’t okay as they are. It’s not okay that He is absent. It’s not okay that He is missing. I want the fullness of Him. I don’t want a false idea of Him, I want the REALITY! I find myself daily walking to this altar laying down desire after desire after desire. Many waters cannot quench this love! I find myself daily saying, “what can I give you today in return for more of You? What can I give as a pleasing fragrance? What more can I move out of my heart to make more and more room for You?” Have Your home in my heart You belong here! Now that I have been joined to You God find Your resting place in me! I want to be completely possessed by the Creator of my very being. I want to be entertained by the Lover of my soul. I will tarry here until I am filled by the fullness of Him.

The beauty of the ash heap. In the Old Testament they would build an altar to remind them of the place of encounter with the Lord. Remember Jacob after he fled from his brother Esau and the Lord gave him the dream of angels ascending and descending? Jacob woke up knowing that surely the presence of the Lord was among him and built an altar and called it Bethel. Later on in the book of Genesis the Lord tells Jacob to go back to Bethel and build an altar to remind him of how the Lord met him when he fled from Esau and we know that that altar stands there even today. Here we are on this beautiful journey, a pilgrimage if you will, and all along the way we are sacrificing our temporal earthly desires to live for eternal ones and He is leaving a beautiful ash heap behind to remind us of the encounter. My journey, my pilgrimage is laced with beautiful ash heaps. Learning to love not my life even unto death, whether spiritual or physical. At the end of the day I live to hear the, “Well done my good and faithful daughter.” Be encouraged and of good cheer. He said,”blessed are those who hunger…for they will be SATISFIED,” and He is faithful to deliver!

Jan23

Home From Israel

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Home From Israel

So I made it home from Israel safe. I have been having a hard time transitioning. My heart aches for Jerusalem. I made it home Thursday at about 1030am and was so surprised how many of my dear loved ones met me at the airport. It was a total surprise! The flight home was interesting to say the least. I had crying babies on either side, but I did get to talk to the girl sitting next to me about Jesus. She was from Cali and very intrigued to hear about all I had been up to. She had been in Israel as part of “touching basis with your heritage” kinda program.

I spent most of the day Thursday with my precious and amazing friends Becca and Jessica. I found that I was quite culture shocked and as it is Sunday now I am still finding that I am slightly in shock. I cried almost all day Friday. My heart has just been so broken for the things of the kingdom. I find that I am more hungry for God that I have been at any point in my life up to now. I find myself agreeing to give up more and more for the promise of more of His presence, more of His love, more of the fullness of who He is. He also has me examining my heart. When I look inside I see lots of “little foxes seeking to spoil the vine,” but He in His abundant mercy, and being the good and gentle Father that He is, is helping me catch them one by one. I think the hardest thing I have had to deal with is the reality of the selfishness of, not only my own nation, but my own heart. I don’t want to be wrapped up so much in myself that I ignore those who are begging through the cries of their brokenness in this city. I don’t want to go back to my old way of life. Israel changed me! There are too many people in this city as well as other nations of the world who’s hearts are breaking and we are carrying the reality of the kingdom in our hearts, but are too busy to share it with them because we need groceries from wal-mart or a new pair of jeans or we wanna grab a cup of coffee. Not only that, but this spirit of man pleasing deep down, keeps us from doing the works of the kingdom. I have been praying for more fear of the Lord. I want it to increase so much that if He tells me to go and pray for a woman on the side of the road or a man on the frozen food aisle in wal-mart that I do it immediately…not because I believe He will throw a lightning bolt at me, but because I have an understanding of true obedience.

Mark my hear with the fear of the Lord, for this is the beginning of wisdom!

I have many stories of Israel that I haven’t yet shared and will be posting now that I have a little more time since being home, so make sure that you stay connected. If you have any prayer request make sure to visit my connect page and either facebook or email me and I will make sure that I cover them in prayer. Thank-you to all those who supported me through prayer and financial support while I was in Israel! I pray the blessings of Heaven over you for your obedience unto the Lord. Blessings!

Jan5

A Good Laugh and Prayer…

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A Good Laugh and Prayer…

The Lord has such a sense of humor. This week has had some of the most hysterical moments of my life that I just have to share them with you all. So, as I told you in my last blog, the Lord gave me the scripture from Luke 10 about trampling snakes and scorpions and overcoming the power of the enemy: nothing will harm me right? So January 1st its like the Lord decides to prove this word to me. We have our church service at Living Bread at 7pm that night. We get finished and like always we walk home. Well, everyone else kinda headed home and I walked home with my newest housemate Anne Marie. So, this is the first time I have really been around her and had the chance to talk to her. We get no more than 2 blocks from the church and I literally trip and do this crazy somersault flop over my head thing. I kid you not I fell like 6 or 7 ft in front of me down on concrete. Anne Marie comes rushing over, “Are you okay? Oh my gosh, are you okay?” What do I do? What does Lilly always do when someone falls ever herself? SHE CRACKS UP LAUGHING. I am laughing hysterically at myself. Anne Marie is looking at me really confused like, “what the heck is going on? did i miss something?” hahaha She is like, “Did you scrape your hands? your leg? rip your jeans? are you okay?” I look at her kind of pulling back from the laughter and the adrenaline and I realize I have absolutely no pain what so ever in my body. I should have seriously hurt myself. I told her, “hmmm that’s weird. I bet I will be sore tomorrow though.” So the next day I am spending some alone time with the Lord and He says to me, “Lilly, what did I say to you?” I am kind of puzzled, like, “hmm i am confused Lord.” He says again, “Lilly, what did I say to you?” I said, “Lord, I am a little lost as to what you are talking about.” He says, “I gave you a word for this year and I meant what I said.” Suddenly, it dawns on me…Luke 10:18-19! YOU WILL NOT BE HARMED! I realize that the Lord was proving to me on the first day of the year what He spoke to me. I woke up with not one tinge of pain, bruise, scrape, anything. Man! It still blows my mind. It may not mean that much to anyone else, but for me, especially after a lot of the stuff that I have been through since before I came to Israel and then after getting here, this is a big deal word for me!

As if life couldn’t get more funnier than that. Karen asked me yesterday if I could take a package to the post office for her. I am like sure I am going there anyways as I am expecting some mail. I get to the post office and go through the security like you do for everything here. I get my number and wait to hear it called in Hebrew as the computer does not speak in english. I would love you all to think that since having been here that I have picked up on Arabic and Hebrew, but that would not be true :) haha. Thankfully they show the number on the very fancy tv screens they have in their very modern technology post office. They call my number and I go up to the window and I tell the guy that I need to send this package. Karen had given me a manila envelope that was ripped on the bottom and filled with wires like cellphone charger, ipod charger, etc. The guy looks at the pack and he says, “is this bomb?” I thought that he said, “is this broke?” talking about the envelope and I say very happily and smiley, “YES!” He jumps back very shocked, eyes wide as can be, and ask me again in a very sharp tone, “THIS BOMB?!?” I said, “BOMB!?!?!” He says, “YES! I ask you is dis bomb and you say yes!” I am kinda freaking out at this point as people are staring at this blonde curly headed bubbly american chic. I said, “OH MY GOSH NO NO NO! I thought that you asked if it was broke as in the envelope being torn.” He kind of calms down and says, “no no no that not what I ask you.” I said, “Oh my gosh! This could have been bad.” He says, “yes could have been vedy vedy bad. Not bomb?!?” I said again, “NO NO NO seriously NOT bomb. Just wires for chargers for cellphone etc.” He says, “oh okay.” WOW! Is that not ridiculous! Of course the story being typed does no justice without hearing my wonderful mimicking of the hebrew post office man. hahaha

God has been so good! We have started a strong intercession team every morning praying for the different churches that Living Bread has started in Jerusalem, Jericho, and Gaza as well as praying for healing for those who message us daily from all around the world. It is awesome to see how quickly we are getting responses and testimonies back too. Power is going forth from Jerusalem in the realm of prayer for sure. His house will be called a house of prayer! Prayer is how He governs His kingdom. It is the simple basis that we declare who God is and He tells us what to tell Him. I am so excited to see God moving right before my very eyes! I have really been meditating and praying for the greater works! We are about to see a great move on the earth for sure. What we win in the spiritual realm we will begin to see a quick response released in the natural realm. He is doing a new thing all throughout the earth and I am so happy that I get to partner with Him in intercession. I get to walk into my priestly calling. PRAYER! If there is anything that I have learned it is that God really had me in the house of prayer to ready me for such a season as this. If I want to accomplish anything in the kingdom I have to one, be grounded in a place of intimacy with Jesus, and two, be ground in the reality that justice is released from the place of prayer. Prayer moves things. Prayer changes things. Remember when He said, “worry about nothing, PRAY about everything?” He meant it! It works. Its the foundation of His kingdom.

Jan2

Sea of Galilee, Cpernaum, and more…

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Sea of Galilee, Cpernaum, and more…

Whew wee seems I have been running around like crazy lately. I was bound and determined to make a list of things still to see before leaving Israel. As of today, I have a week and 2 days before I leave. Where in the world did the time go?

This weekend was amazing. I am still just in awe of the awesomeness of God. Me, Phillip, and Mark decided to take an overnight trip up to Tiberias which is up by the Sea of Galilee. We definitely made plans, but God surely ordained our steps. We took the scenic route up through Jericho and then straight up the state of Israel. We took our time just enjoying the amazing view of the wilderness. Its wild how its desert, but in the midst of it is all this greenery and produce. We made it up to Tiberias and decided to grab a bite to eat and God, being God, picked the absolute best place. It was Friday in a predominantly Jewish neighborhood so by the time we got there things were slowly starting to shut down. The Jewish people celebrate Shabbat from sundown Friday to sundown on Saturday. We found this pier like area and just sat back and stood amazed that we were sitting in front of the very body of water that Jesus walked on in the very region that the majority of His ministry took place. After sitting on a bench just gazing and taking it all in we figured we might better find a place to “bed down for the night,” as Mark would say in his Australian accent. We rode up this really high mountain to one Kibbutz  only to find that it was absolutely packed out with Jewish Australians. We hopped back in the car and headed towards the next one that put us at the northern end of the sea. Little did we know it put us only a matter of a mile or so away from the place Jesus ministered the most. We bedded down for the night talking about Jesus. I was telling the guys that everytime I go somewhere I like to look it up in scriptures so its all fresh in my mind. As we began to do it we were all just amazed how much Jesus loved Galilee and couldn’t believe that we were all so lucky to have been chosen for such a time as this to be in the place He loved to be. After calming down our excitement we all headed to bed.

 

We woke up bright and early the next morning ready for the adventure of our lifetime. We had NO IDEA it was going to turn out as amazing as it did. We headed down the road to the Church of the Primacy which is believed to be the place on the Sea that the disciples were unsuccessful in catching any fish and Jesus told them to again cast out their net. They caught 153 fish! I tell you first hand as I saw these things flopping in the water, you may say, “153 isn’t that many,” but these fish WERE massive sized fish. I kid you not about the size of my arm span. The number 153 in the Hebrew spells out “I AM GOD!” Coincidence? I think not! :) There was a church there full of tourist from Africa so we ventured out to the beach section behind the church. We went away from the crowds headed towards these massive rocks to take a couple pictures. We saw these cute little creatures called Syrian rabbits. They make the weirdest noises. We climbed out on the rocks and snapped a couple pictures. Mark decides that he can’t take it anymore he has to jump in the water. Remember it is winter here in Israel, but this wasn’t stopping him. Not long after he has talked Phillip into coming in too. They are talking about being fishers of men. I told them I had seen an old net over by the rocks. Mark went wild! He was bound and determined to make a prophetic statement. He went over grabbed this net and the two of them decided they were going to catch a fish. They are screaming all crazy, yet full of zeal, “WE ARE FISHERS OF MEN! WE ARE FISHERS OF MEN!” They were having the time of their lives. They tried to talk me into going in, but I only made it in as deep as my knees. The water was sooooo cold. I enjoyed looking at all the big crabs and hunting for seashells as they are everywhere. They continued for an hour at least trying to catch one of these massive fish. They were unsuccessful. The whole time I kept asking them if they heard the sound of water. I knew I was hearing something that sounded like a waterfall. We all climbed out and ventured out through the tall sea grass around the corner to find a beautiful waterfall. We found out later that the waterfall came from an underground river that flows from the Golan Heights. We were all curious as to how the sea got its source. In talking to a priest we found out that there are 7 rivers that flow into the Sea of Galilee. 5 of those rivers are completely underground and only 2 are above ground. WILD! We get over to the waterfall and Mark, again full of zeal, is determined to get under this thing and just let it beat over top of him. He again, convinces Phillip to come in. These two are sitting under this waterfall that may compare nothing to the Niagara, but it is full of force. They get touched by the presence of the Lord under the waterfall and all you can hear is them screaming at the top of their lungs, “JESUS! JESUS! JESUS!” Again they asked me to join, but the water was too cold and I feared it would be too strong for me, but I enjoyed watching and praying and just looking around the shallow water that stands between the waterfall and the Sea of Galilee. As I am looking around I find under this rock an old set of car keys. I felt like the Lord said that He was going to give me access to open the door of ministry. As I am looking on them I find one word on the key…its not a make or model as you would think, but the name of a nation, ITALY!  Okay Lord! Afterwards we all decided to take communion. What a beautiful thing to take communion in a place that meant so much to the Lord. We gathered all of our things and from there headed out to Capernaum. We walked a mile or two down from the church and came to the ruins of the old city Capernaum. In Capernaum lies the ruins to Peter’s mother-in-laws house as well as the ruins of a synagogue. The synagogue isn’t the synagogue that Jesus mentions visiting in Mark 1:21-28, but after further excavations they did find proof that this roman era synagogue was built on top of another synagogue that they have dated back to the 1st century and believe that it was indeed the synagogue that Jesus would have visited. We again just felt the presence of the Lord and decided again to take communion. We also prophesied the very words of Jesus over ourselves, “Upon this rock I will build my church, and all the powers of hell will not conquer it. And I will give you the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven! I will give you the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven!” (Matt 16:18-19).

From there we headed up to the mountain which they believe is the mountain that Jesus preached the Sermon of the Mount on. The view from the top of the mountain was amazing! Breathtaking! We just sat there for a few minutes and prayed and again we were just overwhelmed at the goodness of God. I prayed that God would inscribe the culture of the kingdom that He talks about in Matthew 5 upon our very hearts!

We hopped in the car and headed towards the Mediterranean. We drove for quite some time just talking about the things that the Lord had been revealing to us. It was as if time was standing still. We made it to the Mediterranean and my oh my was it just breathtaking. Clear and blue as could be. On the shoreline is tons of old broken pottery. Much of the pottery has dated back to ancient times. I remember standing there and looking out on this massive body of water and remembering in 1 Kings 5:9 where King Hiram told Solomon that he would send the cedars of Lebanon to help build the temple by way of the Mediterranean. I also remembered that it was this ocean that Paul traveled to and fro through on his missionary journeys. I sat and just listened to the water as it crashed on the shore. We took a couple pictures and eluded to my favorite thing in the world, hunting for seashells. I found some of the most beautiful shells. You couldn’t help but be overtaken by the beauty of it all.

 

From there we decided we might better head back home as we had to be at our New Year’s Eve meeting. We had tried earlier in the day to find Mt. Carmel, but were unsuccessful and had to let go of the idea. I was slightly disappointed as I really wanted to see the place that Elijah called down fire from heaven. We were on the road for about 20 minutes or so when we saw a sign for Mt. Carmel. Surely He knows the desires of my heart! We cut over 3 lanes of the expressway in a moment and were sliding off the exit ramp. When Mark drives you find that you pray like you have never prayed in your life haha! You pray to live haha! We stopped for gas and asked for directions. They told us we were about 7 minutes away. My heart is jumping like crazy on the inside. We load back up in the car and start driving. After a few minutes or so we are wondering if we have been fooled because it it not at all looking like there is any sign of civilization. After another moment we see signs for a monastery. We start heading in that direction still not too sure as to whether or not this is what we are looking for or what. We finally get to the top of this high mountain and we ask the guy at the gate if this is the site of Elijah…”YES,” he says! I am exploding with excitement at this point. We go in and we are walking around. We walk over to the edge of the mountain and realize that we are so high up that we are above the clouds. We walk into this small little church and just sit down and start to pray. It was just the three of us and we start singing. The acoustics in the church were phenomenal. They were like nothing i had ever heard before in my life. We are singing about the holiness of God and the beauty of the Son and after a few minutes the presence of God comes down on us. It was so heavy I couldn’t move. I was stuck to the bench. I am fighting back tears and I can feel His nearness. We hear from time to time people come in and out but we aren’t budged and we just keep singing to our Father. The heaviness releases after a bit and this woman comes in with her elderly mother and she is just standing there shocked. She says to me, “I swore I heard the voice of angels. I know I heard the voice of angels.” We told her that she was probably right as the presence of the Lord was all over the place in there. We walk out and they walk in and a few minutes later we hear this precious petite woman lifting her voice to the Lord in the church. I knew she was really touched as when I was talking to her she had tears in her eyes. I completely believe that the Lord encountered us and released an impartation of the spirit of Elijah to us in a greater manner. While we were in the church singing I heard the Lord speak to me and say, “The fire will show if a person’s work has any value. The fire will show if a person’s work has any value (1 Corinthians 3:13).” The fire falling from heaven was not only a sign to the prophets of Baal that God was God, but a sign to Elijah that his work unto the Lord had value. God I want to be found like Elijah. I want to be found surviving the fire. I want to know that me ministering, not to man, but to the Holy Spirit has value to You.

 

If I have learned anything over these past 2 1/2 months it is that God is far greater than even my mind has been able to imagine. I know that I am not returning home the same as I was. I know that when I return home from Jerusalem I will be endued with power from on high. I will be endued by the power of the Holy Spirit. This trip has been not just life changing it has been life altering. I don’t want to be the same person I was yesterday, or a month ago, or a year ago. I want to be found hearing the word, eating the word, living the word. As we ushered in the New Year I kept hearing that song, “I feel the earth move under my feet. I feel the sky tumbling down. I feel my heart start trembling whenever You’re around.” The Lord said, “This is your word for 2012 Lilly. ‘I saw Satan fall from heaven like lightning! Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will harm you.” YES GOD!